Every spouse can relate to these facts about the uniform our spouses wear!

Over at Semi Delicate Balance you can find a list of “50 Things Only A Military Spouse Would Understand“. She breaks down the list of 50 things into small groups.  Including, Military Life, Deployment, Uniform, PCS, Resources, Military Brats, Housing, and Social Media. The entire time I was reading over her list I couldn’t help but laugh. I even read parts of the article to my husband causing him to drop his head in shame. Her list is pretty solid, but there are a few modifications I would like to add. Let’s start with the Uniform section.

“◦Spending HOW MUCH on Uniforms?… allowance or no allowance, uniforms cost a pretty penny”

Uniforms are CRAZY expensive, and if your husband is anything like mine he will ruin countless uniform pieces. I can’t tell you how many times hubby has decided to wash his uniform with pens still in the pocket adding an unwanted layer to the camouflage. If he ever needs to blend in with ink splotches at the doctors office he will be 100% set! Since the uniforms are so expensive I hate to throw away the ruined pieces. So instead we have a box of old uniforms in the basement. I figure we can use the fabric one day for a Pinterest inspired craft, for play dress up clothing for our kids, or maybe some famous museum will be looking for a ruined pair of ABUs. In reality we will move that box of uniforms a bazillion times to ultimately say why would we keep these for so long and throw them away.

“◦Last Minute Calls for Dry Cleaning… “Babe, Can you drop this off at the cleaners, I need it tomorrow”… sound familiar?”

Not only I have heard pretty much those exact words come out of my husbands mouth more than a few times, but he is also notorious for saying, “I’m trying it on because I have to wear it tomorrow”. Now he doesn’t try it on a normal hour, it’s usually late at night once everything on base is closed. I am not sure what kind of  wife superpowers he thinks I possess but I am 100% sure I will not be able to produce a new uniform by 0700.

“◦Wearing the same thing every day but producing the most laundry… how many undershirts, PT shirts and shorts, blouses, pants, have I washed this week?”

I think I wash uniform pieces as often as I do baby clothing. It is a never ending battle. Not to mention if you don’t wash the undershirts and PT shirts right away the funk will permanently fuse its self into the fabric. Uniform parts that go on deployment rarely make it back into the house because of the funk factor. I try to send hubby a new undershirt or two for the flights home, so that all undershirts worn in the desert, stay in the desert.

“◦Daily Strip Down of All Uniform Accessories… and leaving them all over the house”

Not only are uniform pieces scattered throughout the house, but most mornings there will be a small search party for missing pieces. Just the other morning while half asleep I hear hubby going up and down the stairs multiple times. When I finally asked what he was looking for he told me he couldn’t find his badge. Somehow without fully waking up I knew it was in his pants pocket. That must have been my wife superpowers at work!

This would be a good place to add: Random SOS Calls….”Baby, do you see my cover anywhere in the house? I though it was in my car…” After escorting hubby’s cover onto base more times than I would like to admit I finally purchased a back-up cover and hid it in his car. Now when he forgets his, he is “covered”. Haha get it?

“◦Pins, Bars, Medals… “Babe, does this look straight?”, “How is this supposed to look again?”,” Can you pin this on for me?””

Before every function where hubby is going to wear his service or mess dress he always googles to make sure everything is in the right order. When we get out the vehicle and are about to enter the function it is always my job to adjust and check every piece to make sure it is straight.

A big reason why we have to depend on google to make sure everything is in the right order is because, without fail every time there is a big function coming up, Hubby will come home with a list of medals/ribbons and/or pins he needs to update his uniform. He could receive a medal the day after a big function but he wouldn’t tell me he needs said medal until a few days before the next function. I do find it comforting when the week before a dining out I usually run into a slew of other military spouses in the clothing store staring at wall of metals and ribbons trying to find the ones on their list.

“◦Finding Those Stupid Blouse Ties/Hooks All Over the Place… Make uniforms with an elastic band on the bottom… problem solved”

Blouse ties are essentially the same as hosiery stocking clips and I think my husband owns more hosiery stocking clips than every woman I know, combined.

What would be on your list for the things about uniforms that you think every military spouse knows?