What Questions to ask when Discussing your Spouse’s Career
Between promotion boards, reduction in force boards, and service commitments only lasting a couple of years, a military members career is almost always in limbo. And having open communications about all the possible paths aren’t easy. Anytime we are dissecting career paths we try to stick to three major questions.
Where do you want to go?
It is important that my husband tells me honestly where he wants his career to go next. It may not be the answer I want to hear, especially if he is talking about a deployment or moving somewhere cold. But it is important I know what he is thinking, rather than be surprised. The more time I have to wrap my head around a possible outcome I am not going to love, the better.
What if plan A doesn’t happen?
Knowing all the alternatives to our current path is important. I would like to say it helps us from getting our hopes up about plan A, but that usually isn’t the case. Instead it just lets us get more comfortable with all the “what ifs” that come with a military career.
Are we prepared?
We always talk through the situations and see if there is anything we need to do to mentally and financially to prepare ourselves for all the possible paths. It is hard enough to talk about, what if your career is over tomorrow, but I couldn’t imagine the stress of something like that happening and us not being prepared for that outcome at all.
My husband and I are constantly asking each other these three questions and talking about possible career paths. We talk about it at night when we’re getting ready for bed, we talk about it on long car trips, and anytime in between when it is heavily weighing on one of our minds. The conversations aren’t always easy, but they are necessary. By keeping that line of communication open between my husband and myself it keeps us on the same page, which in turns makes our marriage stronger over time.
